


What Happens in Vegas

by FrankieQuinn13



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alcohol, Crack Treated Seriously, Drunken Shenanigans, F/F, F/M, Humor, Implied Bestiality, Las Vegas, M/M, Stag Nights & Bachelor Parties
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-21
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2020-12-31 07:23:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21113927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FrankieQuinn13/pseuds/FrankieQuinn13
Summary: Emmett throws a bachelor party for EdwardPaul throws a coming of age party for JacobThey all end up in the same hotel roomThis is exactly why shifters and vampires shouldn't be able to get drunk





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: I still have no self-control
> 
> This is crack treated seriously, please don't take any of this too seriously cause I didn't
> 
> Apologies spelling, grammar and OOCness (Seriously though, I barely edited)
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of its characters

It’s the most ridiculous situation that he’s ever had the misfortune of being in.

Las Vegas Nevada. A few weeks ago, Edward announced his engagement to Bella to his family and they were happy for him, well, most of them were happy. Rosalie still didn’t like the human girl very much.

Carlisle and Esme congratulated him and wished him luck; Alice immediately started to implement the wedding arrangements that she’d been planning since Edward met Bella. Emmett wanted to throw him a bachelor party, Edward didn’t have the heart to tell him no, Jasper decided to tag along, if only to make sure they don’t get into trouble. He didn’t tell Edward that they were going to Vegas.

Vegas was a bad idea for a number of reasons, but again Edward didn’t have the heart to tell Emmett no, so he decided to go along with it and Jasper agreed to go as well. If only to make sure that they didn’t get into trouble. And for reasons that Edward will never fully understand, Emmett invited Garrett too. They landed about five hours ago. Emmett wanted to hit the casinos, but they decided to check in at their hotel room and try to blend in as seamlessly as possible.

That’s when they ran into the shifters.

They were in Vegas for reasons that they also refused to explain, but a quick peek into their minds let Edward in on the fact that they were celebrating Jacob’s coming of age. Coming of age for what, Edward wasn’t really able to tell, but he could tell that it only partly involved the shifter turning eighteen.

They ran into the shifters in the lobby of the hotel where they were both staying apparently. Edward suggested just staying in a different hotel to avoid the inevitable fight that they were going to get into with the wolves, but Emmett refused to go anywhere and Garrett was much too fascinated by the notion of shapeshifting wolves to even think about staying somewhere else. The shifters on the other hand refused to leave simply because they wouldn’t allow themselves to be intimidated by a couple of bloodsuckers.

At first Edward didn’t think it would be too bad. I mean, just because they were staying in the same hotel, doesn’t necessarily mean that they’d be spending time around one another. Vegas is a big city with every manner of distraction imaginable. Plus, the hotel itself was also quite sizable as well. It wouldn’t have been difficult to simply ignore the Quileutes and stay out of each other’s way.

Unfortunately, fate was not on their side.

The weekend that Emmett deemed it fit to go to Vegas, also happened to be the same weekend that some international vampire enthusiast convention was being held in the city, which resulted in thousands of people flooding the city with plastic fangs and fake blood dripping off their clothes. This unfortunately also meant that there was realistically only one hotel with one penthouse suite left that was big enough for them to stay in for the duration of the weekend.

Edward immediately wanted to go home. Jacob surprisingly enough almost agreed with the vampire. Neither group wanted to be stuck with the other in a hotel room for a whole weekend when, the shifters even more so since the penthouse suite was way too expensive for the budget they were working with, even if they were sharing with the vampires. They were all about to leave when Garrett decided to play peace maker and suggested a temporary cease fire, at least for the weekend. The shifters still weren’t very willing till the nomad offered to pay for all their expenses for the whole weekend.

The Cullens didn’t get it. Jasper and Edward were sure that the entire thing was going to turn into one gigantic mess, but Garrett was persistent. He was so fascinated by the wolves that he was willing to ignore all signs of clear and present danger just to get a closer look at them.

It was a bad idea; Edward could tell that most of the wolves thought so too. Most except for Paul, interestingly enough.

“It’s a weekend in Vegas totally free of charge, besides they’re vampires I doubt they’ll need to be at the hotel long enough to sleep anyway.”

So they reluctantly agreed, with Jacob making them promise that they’ll leave the second things started going bad.

Though in Edward’s opinion things started going bad the moment they stepped into the hotel.

The telepath resisted the urge to sigh in frustration when he stepped out of his bedroom and into the general living area to see Paul and Jared standing at the fully stocked bar on the other side of the room. Not because the sun had barely set and the wolves were already getting drunk but because of Garrett who sat on the couch on the left side of the room leaning against the backrest of the large cream seater as he stared openly at the wolves. Jasper and Emmett were both at Edward’s sides. Jasper shook his head in exasperation and Emmett gave a snort. They walked over to the nomad, who barely even spared them a glance, not even when Emmett plopped down heavily on the seat beside him and Jasper leaned against the couch.

“Are you done gawking at them yet? I wanna hit the strip before the smell of wet dog gets suffocating.” Emmett drawled out with an annoyed growl. Garrett ignored his comment completely.

“So, they don’t need the full moon to transform.” The vampire said as his head gave a tilt, “What do you think it would take to encourage one of them to transform?”

“Not much.” Jasper mumbled out and Edward shook his head.

“We are not triggering the shifters to phase just to satisfy you’re twisted fascination.”

Garrett frowned, “I only want one of them to transform, not the whole pack.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Edward sighed. Just then Jacob appeared from one of the rooms with Embry and Quil, the shifters were whispering quietly among themselves though Jacob still looked over to him and glared as they walked over to join Paul and Jared. “Lets just get out of here, Emmett’s right, the air is getting suffocating.”

Garrett started to protest, “But-“

“Paul no.” Jacob seemed to hiss as he glared at the shifter standing on the other side of the bar, who’d brought out a duffle bag and placed it on the counter before reaching back to grab an empty glass bottle.

“Why not?”

“Because its too dangerous that’s why.”

“Oh calm down.” Paul said with a roll of his eyes as he grabbed several glasses as well, “I’ve made it dozens of times and every time it comes out perfect, ask Jared.”

Jared shrugged, “It’s some good shit.”

Jacob glared at his pack brother, “No.”

“Aw c’mon Jake!” Paul stressed as he leaned over the bar, “Think about it like this. This is your last weekend of freedom. Don’t you want it to go out with a bang?”

“I don’t think drinking some weird potion you found counts as going out with a bang.” Jacob said with a sigh before Embry frowned, “Where did you find the recipe for this anyway?”

“I snuck into Old Quil’s study and tore a page out of his note book.”

Quil’s eyes went wide, “You broke into my grandfather’s house and stole from him?!”

“Snuck in, I never said anything about breaking in and besides this really is some good shit.”

“Really, good shit.” Jared said with a nod and an oddly distant smile. Jacob sighed.

“Fine, but if something goes wrong-“

“Nothing’s going to go wrong. Trust me its completely harmless.” Paul said dismissively as he unzipped his duffle bag Quil shook his head.

“I doubt something with that kind of effect on us can be harmless.”

“What kind of effect?”

The wolves all paused and turned to glare at the vampires when Garrett suddenly spoke. Jacob growled, “None of your business. Don’t you have a convention to get to?”

Edward shut his eyes in frustration. “This was such a bad idea.”

Emmett glared hard, Jasper grabbed a hold of his arm at the spark of anger he felt.

“Emmett, lets just go.”

“I’d much rather stay here actually.” Garrett said, getting up to jump over the back of the couch and walk over to the shifters. Edward, Jasper and Emmett could only watch as the red eyed vampire sauntered over, giving the shifters a grin as he stopped just a few feet away.

“So, what’re you doing?”

Paul surprisingly only rolled his eyes as he started setting out the contents of the bag, before he turned back and took a bottle off the wall behind him and walked over to the fridge. “We aren’t doing anything. Get lost Dracula.”

Garrett only gave a scoff as he looked over the bottles set on the bar, “White oak, vervain, wolfbane, salt, vodka, champagne and coke. Making poison are we?”

“Exactly, this might be a good time for you to get lost now.” Jared growled, hoping the vampire would get the hint and leave, but of course he didn’t.

“Just when things are getting good? Besides, I paid for this room, remember?” Garrett said walking in behind the bar next to Paul and the shifter glared hard, ready to tell the vampire off when.

“Fine.”

“What?” Quil asked as he stared at his friend, Jacob only folded his arms across his chest as he continued.

“You can stay, but only if you can drink the potion Paul makes without puking all over the suite.”

Embry’s eyes went wide, “Jake-“

“Deal.” Garrett said meeting Jacob’s gaze and the shifter glanced back at Edward.

‘That goes for you freaks too’

“If you can’t keep it down, you have to leave the room, leave Vegas and still pay for us to stay here.”

It was a clear trap.

Edward knew that Jacob knew very well that vampires can’t consume normal food and drink of any kind, let alone some strange concoction made for only God knows what. Edward could read it in the shifter’s mind clear as day that he expected them to fail.

Emmett stepped forward, “Yeah and what’s in it for us if we keep it down?”

Jacob turned to face them, “What do you want?”

Edward stepped forward then, “Full immunity from the treaty, after Bella and I’s wedding.”

The shifters eyes went wide.

“No way!”

“That’s totally unfair!”

“You can’t-“

“Fine.” Jacob suddenly said and just as suddenly his mind closed off to Edward as he gave the telepath a smile, “You have yourself a deal Cullen.”

“But Jake-“

“Don’t worry.” Jacob said cutting Jared off, “It doesn’t matter. Soon, none of it will.”

And then suddenly Paul let out a bark of laughter as realisation dawned in his eyes, but the thought came and went so quickly Edward couldn’t catch what it was. “Alright bloodsuckers, lets get this show on the road.”

Jacob turned away to face the bar.

“Alright, as Dracula informed you tonight’s house special contains white oak, wolfbane, vervain, salt, vodka, champagne and coke.” Paul said as he started pouring the contents of the smaller bottles into the larger one he took from the bar. Edward hesitated for a brief moment but stepped forward when Emmett let out a huff of annoyance and walked over. Jasper followed cautiously.

“So exactly what sort of effect does this have on you?” Garrett asked curiously and Paul spared him a brief albeit wary glance. Edward almost thought that the shifter wouldn’t answer him, but Paul surprised him.

“Normally alcohol has no effect on shifters.”

“Metabolisms too fast. It burns away alcohol and most chemicals before they can even start to take effect.” Jared said as he shifted a bit in his seat on the stool by the bar. Paul nodded as he grabbed the bottle of champagne.

“Normally there isn’t really much of a point to us drinking alcohol,” The wolf pulled the foil top of and removed the cage before popping the cork. The champagne came pouring out the top, but Paul quickly lifted the bottle to drink up the run off. And then he let out a satisfied gasp and a smile as he poured out the champagne into the mixture.

“Until a few years ago, when old Quil managed to find a mixture that takes longer for a wolf to burn off.”

“Allowing the alcohol to take full effect?” Garrett asked with an arched brow, “Interesting.”

“Yup, now for the final ingredient. Blood of a virgin.” Paul said with a grin and just like that all the shifters turned and looked at Embry who’s face immediately caught in a flush as he glared.

“Me?! What makes you think I’m-“

“Because we know you are.” Paul said dismissively as he held out his hand towards the shorter teen, “C’mon you’re wasting time. We need a virgin sacrifice or it won’t work.”

Embry looked over to Jacob and Quil helplessly. Jacob gave a snort and Quil gave his arm a nudge with his elbow. “C’mon dude, just do it.”

Embry let out a heavy sigh before he reached out his hand and Paul picked up the knife he had sitting on the counter with his free hand. The vampires began to stir uncomfortably. Jacob noticed if the way he glanced back at Edward was any clue.

“Paul, wait.”

‘Are you going to be able to handle this?’

Edward rolled his eyes despite the unease he felt, “Shifter blood isn’t the same as human blood. We’d have to be able to stomach the stench before your blood became a problem.”

“We aren’t so desperate that we’d go feeding on mutt.” Emmett hissed and the shifters glared at him before continuing.

“Whatever.” Jacob said though he still kept a wary eye on the vampires as Paul lifted the knife and slid it down Embry’s palm to make one long cut. Embry hissed as blood seeped from the wound. Emmett suddenly cleared his throat and looked away, Garrett took a step back and Edward looked away as well only to pause when he noticed how tense Jasper was and how his eyes stayed fixed on Embry.

The shifter bit his lip as he turned his hand and clenched it into a fist, causing drops of blood to drip into the concoction before he pulled his hand away and licked the wound until it closed itself. Jasper still didn’t look away.

“Jasper.” Edward whispered quietly as he nudged his brother just a bit, “Jasper, are you O.K?”

“…”

“Jasper.”

The empath blinked, swallowing hard as he finally tore his gaze away, “I’m fine.”

Paul grabbed a bottle top off from the side to close the bottle and gave the it a good shake. They watched as the liquid shook and mixed until the shifter deemed it ready. He moved the clutter off the counter and set the glasses out all in a row. They all stepped closer to the bar as he filled up nine tumblers and gave a wide grin.

“Perfect.” He then turned to the vampire that insisted on standing so close to him and slid one of the glasses over in front of him. “Drink up.”

Edward arched a brow at the shifter, “If this drink allows wolves to get drunk then exactly what kind of reaction are you expecting from a vampire?”

“I expect you to hurl before you even make it half way.” Paul said dismissively as he folded his arms across his chest, “Just make sure you aim that shit over there, cause I’ll rip your head off if you even think about blowing chunks all ove-“

Before Paul could finish his threat and anyone else could stop him, Garrett grabbed the glass and downed it in three gulps. The vampire slammed the glass down on the bar, causing it to shatter into thousands of shards. His eyes went wide and he started coughing, thumping a hand on his chest, only for a bright grin to spread over his lips as he let out a chocked laugh.

“God that’s good!”

The shifters gaped.

“What seriously?” Emmett asked with a frown as he stepped forward to grab a glass while Garrett tried to catch his breath.

Emmett finished his in one gulp and had a reaction almost identical to Garrett’s only he didn’t break his glass.

“Holy shit! Can I have some more?”

Jacob jumped when Edward suddenly stepped in right behind him and spoke, “I guess we win this round huh mutt?”

Jacob turned to look at the vampire to glare only for that glare to melt away as he took two glasses off the counter and handed one to the telepath. Edward arched a brow in question as he took the glass.

“I guess you do.” Jacob said clinking their glasses together with a smirk and Edward frowned, “What’re you up to?”

Jacob scoffed, “Nothing you won’t find out about soon enough.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The guys were out of town to celebrate Jacob's coming of age. Seth wasn’t allowed to go along cause he’s too young, so Leah made him stay behind. Not that Leah was there to keep him company, no, she got invited to some other thing, so she was out for the night too.

Seth ended up watching tv on his own, since Brady and Colin were on patrol with Sam. It was boring, but bearable.

Seth blindly reached out to his phone, ringing and buzzing loudly on the bedside table. The teen groaned since the stupid thing had woken him from the best dream, he can't remember what that dream was just that he wants to be back in it.

He scrambled with the device just a bit, before he got a solid hold on it and slid his finger across the screen.

“H-Hello.”

_“Seth… Yoh, Seth. Is that-that you man?”_

Seth frowned, “Jared?”

_“Yeah, how…. How are you?” _

Jared's voice ended in this weird high pitch near the end of his sentence and the boy couldn’t help but frown even more.

“Jared, I thought you guys were-“

_“Yeah I'm good.”_ Jared cut him off, slurring his words. _“I just wanted to call and see how you were doing.”_

Seth let out a heavy sigh as he slumped back onto the bed, “Jared, are you drunk?”

_“Naahhh.”_

He's definitely drunk.

“Jared, how are you drunk right now-"

_“Look man, I just, I heard this song and you know what it made me think of you and I just-I needed to talk to you. I needed to tell you how much you mean to me bro-“_

“Jared-"

_“And Kim, I just wanted to tell you that I love Kim so much, man, I love-I love her so much it hurts. Like I mean, I don’t know what I'd do without her-"_

“Jared where’s Paul?” Seth said raising his voice so he could break through the older teen’s ramblings.

_“Paul's fine, he's fine he-he's having sex with his leech.”_

Seth's eyes went wide, suddenly wide awake. “Wait what-"

_“This isn't about Paul! It’s about Kim! I fucking love her, Seth! I worship her Seth-"_

“Jared focus, what's going on?”

_“Hey, hey Jared.”_ Seth recognized the voice in the background as Embry. The teen was clearly drunk as well. Slurring his words and stuttering after every second word. _“You need to come, Jake-Jake wants us to go watch him and Edward. Were gonna go watch'em. So, let’s go watch'em.”_

_“Okay!”_ Jared chirped, _“Seth I gotta go bro-"_

“Jared wait!”

_“Seth I'm busy! God, you’re so annoying! Like that bitch Kim.”_ Jared slurred, _“I gotta go. But remember, I love you Seth! And I love Kim. You tell Kim I love her.”_

_“Jared, c'mon-"_

_“Hang on, I-… _

_“Wait Jazzy no! You're not allowed to hurt him.”_

The line went dead. Seth pulled the phone away from his face and stared at the device incredulously.

What the hell?

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“You know, you know you feel really GOOD.” Jacob slurred out as he slumped over the vampire, “Like, like hugging a snowman or like standing in front of the fridge with the door open. Like you know. Like you know. Like cold.”

“You know, you know I never told anyone this. But you feel really good too!” Edward said looking at Jacob with wide eyes filled with awe.

“You're like… You’re fire Jacob.”

“And you’re like ice Edward.” Jacob beamed, wrapping his arms around the vampire's neck as he cuddled into him and Edward wrapped his arms around the shifter as well.

Just then Quil came barreling passed behind them in his wolf form, knocking over a side table and vase to send both crashing to the ground before Emmett went after him. Reaching out to grab the wolf by his hind legs as he stumbled to the ground.

“Slow down puppy, I said, stop! Down boy! You’re not playing fair!”

Quil yelped and barked excitedly, dragging the vampire along with him.

“This is nice, ya know.” Jacob mumbled into Edward’s hair as the vampire dragged him in to pull him closer, “I wish it could be like this always.”

“It can always be like this.”

“Yeah but you have Bella and I-"

“I don't care about Bella, you’re warmer than she is anyway.” Edward muttered, “She just doesn’t get it Jake, she doesn’t get it!”

“Yeah.”

“She doesn’t get that I’m trying to keep her alive. It’s for her own good.”

“Definitely.”

“She doesn’t get that she's too human to handle a relationship with a vampire. She's too soft and squishy.”

“Way too squishy.” Jacob agreed as he cuddled into Edward some more.

“You can handle it cause you’re not human. I'd never-I'd never have to change you. Why can't she be more like you?”

“She doesn’t have to be, because you have me.”

On the other side of the room near the window, Jasper sat in front of Embry on the couch. Staring at the wolf unblinking as he rambled on.

“And it’s just so hard ya know! And my mom is always sad, and Leah's always sad and I'm always sad. Cause they talk about me, ya know. When they think-when they think I'm not loo-looking. They talk about my mom. And she tries so hard and I try so hard. But it’s like they don't care. And I just wanna be happy, I just wanna be happy Jazzy. I wanna be happy!”

“I can make you happy.” Jasper said taking a sip from the glass in his hand, emptying it before he set it on the coffee table, all the time not looking away from Embry for a second. “I can change people’s emotions. I can make you happy, if you want.”

The wolfs eyes went wide, “You'd do that for me?”

“I'd do anything for you.”

Jacob pulled back out of the vampire’s grasp.

“I'm hungry all the time, sometimes it’s like I can’t control myself.” Edward said and Jacob immediately reached out to lift the vampires chin.

“I can help you fix that. I'll help you practice. You could just bite me.”

Edward's eyes went wide as he grabbed the glass from the stand beside them and took in a gulp before shaking his head, “No.”

“But Edward-"

Edward dropped his glass, spilling the contents all over the chez lounge where they sat to grab a hold of Jacob's shoulders. “No, Jacob. You’ll get hurt. Venom is really really really really really really… wait what was I talking about?,”

“Venom.” Jacob supplied and Edward nodded.

“Right. Venom is really really really really really…” Edward started to giggle, “Wait, what was I talking about?”

Jacob giggled as well, punching the vampire's shoulder. “Stop it. You said venom.”

“Yeah,” Edward forced back the giggles to give as serious a look as he could manage. “Venom is bad for wolves.”

“It’s just-its practice, you can suck out the poison like you did with Bella.”

“No, you’ll hurt and besides, besides if I bit you, we'd have to get married and-"

“Then let’s get married!”

“Gotcha!” Emmett said having finally caught Quil and dragging him up into the air before violently throwing him aside and a loud crash rang through the penthouse. The vampire laughed, “Ha! Mutts are so stup-“

The vampire was cut off when Quil immediately bounced back and tackled him to the ground, rolling across the floor as they went.

Garrett looked down at the two as they went biting his bottom lip before looking over to the wolf beside him who was giggling as he stared up at the ceiling with its intricate moldings which were spinning into some fantastical shapes.

“So, you jumped out of a plane, without a parachute?”

“Yes.”

“That’s so cool. I wanna jump out of a plane without a parachute.”

Garrett hummed, “I've done so many things in my time as a vampire. I try to go out and experience everything that the world has to offer me.”

“Uhhuh.”

“See everything there is to see.”

“Yeah.”

“Except, I've never been… intimate with a werewolf.”

Paul looked over to him with a gaped mouth, “Really?”

“I mean I met werewolves, many times but each time I did they'd usually attack me.”

“No way! They'd just attack you for, like, nothing?”

“Nothing.”

“That’s so sad.”

“Hmm.” Garrett said letting his head rest on Paul's shoulder to nuzzle into his neck, when Paul slurred out, “I'd let you do it.”

“You would?”

“Yeah, were like bros. Bro's do everything for each other. I mean we did shots together. SHOTS.” Paul said with infinite sincerity as he stumbled up from his seat.

“What-"

“C'mon, I'll phase and then-and then you can sex me.” Paul said swiping his drink off the floor to down its contents before tossing the glass onto the pillows where they were sitting.

“C'mon.” Paul dragged the vampire let himself be dragged up to his feet. They stumbled over to one of the bedrooms, Paul paused by Jared's side even as Garretts mouth already latched onto his neck and his hands went up his shirt.

“Jared, hey, Jared!”

The other teen looked up from where he sat on the floor with his phone in his hands and a bottle between his legs.

“Jared, what-re you – Garret hang on- what're you doing man?”

“I miss Kim.”

“No, no you’re not allowed to call him, I mean, her.” Paul said squirming a little as Garretts hands kept tugging at his shirt, “Guys night remember? No Kim.”

“She's my imprint. I fucking love her man!”

“Quil, Quil imprinted on Cher and he's having a good time.”

Paul said just as Emmett and Quil went crashing passed them. Paul stumbled on his feet before Garrett caught him. “Thanks” he mumbled out before looking back down to Jared, “Don’t call Kim!”

“Clair is four.”

“Don’t call her!”

“Fine! I won’t call!” Jared whined like a petulant child and Paul nodded.

“Good, calling Kim is a bad idea. You need to be RESPONSIBLE.” Paul said as he started stumbling forward again, “Now, I'm gonna go let this vampire fuck me.”

Jared only gave a grunt as he lifted the bottle to his lips and took a drink.

Just then Embry giggled loudly from the other side of the room, lying on his back while Jasper hovered over him. Sending out waves of joy and happiness and focusing them only on the shifter beneath him.

“Haha hahahaha, okay okay, now,” Embry swallowed hard trying to stop from laughing as he grinned up at the vampire. “Now make me angry.”

Jaspers head gave a tilt and suddenly Embry's jaw clenched and he went red, rage started pulsing through his veins and he started to phase. The shifter barked and snarled at him pushing at the vampire's shoulders. Jasper immediately pulled it back in and sent out happiness all over again and Embry started giggling again as he phased back. Sitting up on the couch.

“Ha haha, that was fun! Okay now make me sad.”

Jaspers head gave another tilt and suddenly the shifter felt miserable. His eyes filled with tears and his face flushed with heartache.

“Oh my God! It hurts so much!” Embry cried as his hand went over his heart and clenched in his shirt, “You’re doing this? Why would you do that?”

Jaspers eyes went wide, “You told me to-“

“So, it’s my fault?!”

“No, no no, darlin, that’s not what I meant-"

“It feels so bad! Why would you do that to me!”

“I-I'm sorry.”

“Make it stop!”

Jasper panicked and did the first thing that came to mind. He grabbed the shifter's shoulders and crushed their lips in a deep kiss. Sadness was immediately replaced by lust and desire and Embry let out a deep moan as he melted into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Jaspers shoulders as he fell back on the couch.

“You want to get married.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Jacob said eagerly as he stumbled off the couch. “We'll get married and then you can bite me. And then it can always be like this!”

“You really think so?”

Jacob fumbled onto one knee grabbing his own glass to down his drink before he set it aside and took Edward's hand. Giving the vampire wide grin.

“Edward S-Sullen-"

Edward laughed, “Cullen.”

“Right, Cullen. Shut up, stop laughing.” Jacob said even as he laughed himself, before he quickly cleared his throat and looked up at the vampire with wide eyes.

“Edward Cullen, will you marry me?”

Edward looked down at Jacob with his eyes equally wide, “Jacob Black, I'll absolutely marry you.”

Jacob got up to his feet and pressed a kiss onto the vampire’s lips, catching the vampire of guard for a brief moment and earning a smile. Before he pulled back and dragged Edward off the couch.

“C'mon.”

“Why?”

“We need witnesseseseses.”

They got up, stumbling over Emmett and Quil who were still wrestling on the ground to get to Jasper and Embry on the other side of the room. They paused when they realized the two were in a full blown make out and Edward laughed, leaning over to bury his laughs in Jacob's hair and the shifter gave a snort.

“Embry! Embry! C'mon stop sucking face you dick.” Jacob said reaching out to swat Embry on the back of his head.

“OW!” Embry said breaking the kiss to look up and frown at Jacob. Jasper hissed glaring hard at Jacob before Edward glared and hissed back, tugging at the wolf's wrist to pull him behind him.

“Jazzy no cut it out. What's up Jake?” Embry said turning so he was sitting up a bit more even with Jaspers form on top of him, Jacob tried to edge around Edward with a large grin.

“Edward and I are gonna get married!”

“Congratulations! I'm so happy for you Jake.”

“You wanna be our witnes-witnessseses?”

“That’s a great idea.” Embry said getting off the couch while Jasper watched him with a pout. “C'mon, Jazzy it'll be so much fun.”

The blonde got up, “Will it make you happy?”

“Yeah!”

“Fine let’s go.” Jasper said taking Embry's hand to pull him along after Edward and Jacob turned to leave the penthouse. They stopped at Jared's side.

Jared was on the phone, but Embry didn’t seem to care and Jasper seemed more interested with Embry than anything else. Edward and Jacob were at the door, giggling loudly as Edward tried to get the shifter to put on a coat.

“It’s cold.”

“I don’t wanna.”

“Hey, hey Jared.” The wolf on the floor looked up, looking a little dazed as Embry finished, “You need to come, Jake-Jake wants us to go watch him and Edward. We’re gonna go watch'em. So let’s go watch'em.”

“Okay!” Jared chirped, “Seth I gotta go bro-"

Embry gave a lopsided grin and stumbled on his feed, swaying a little before Jasper caught him and pulled the shifter back into his arms taking in his scent along his neck.

“Jazzy stop that tickles.” Embry whispered only to be ignored when Jared suddenly snapped.

“Seth I'm busy! God, you’re so annoying! Like that bitch Kim. I gotta go. But remember, I love you Seth! And I love Kim. You tell Kim I love her.”

Embry frowned when he realized that Jared was still on the phone, so he leaned down to grab the shifters arm and pull him up to his feet, seeming to have completely forgotten about Jasper behind him. “Jared, c'mon-"

“Hang on, I-…” Jared slurred even as he stumbled up to his feet and almost fell into Embry. It immediately grabbed Jasper’s attention as the vampire hissed and grabbed Jared to shove him away.

“Wait Jazzy no! You're not allowed to hurt him.”

Jared dropped his phone, slammed into the wall. Embry broke away from Jasper’s grasp to check on Jared as he groaned in pain.

“You O.K?”

“Yeah?”

Embry turned around to face Jasper, swaying a little from side to side.

“Why’d you do that?”

“He was touching you.”

“He was?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.” Embry said just as Jasper wrapped an arm around his waist and started pulling him towards the door. “Wait where are we going?”

“Edward and Jacob.” Jasper answered simply and Embry grinned.

“Right!” Before looking back at Jared, “Jared c’mon!”

“I’m comin’,” Jared mumbled out as he stumbled up to his feet.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: It's been a long time
> 
> Thanks for all the reviews, a lot of them made me laugh
> 
> Usual apologies
> 
> Disclaimer: See previous chapter

The first thing Paul noticed when he woke the next morning was…

Honestly he didn’t notice much at first. He just bolted to the bathroom and emptied his stomach before crawling back into the bedroom and leaning back against the wall. Moments later a blur suddenly went rushing by him, making his head spin. Then he heard the toilet flush and a figure came crawling out of the room before collapsing beside him.

“Uhh…” The figure groaned and Paul looked down to see a man lying beside him. A very pale man with brown hair and-

Suddenly the memories from the night before rushed back to him and he groaned.

“Oh shit…”

“Ngh…”

“Did we?”

“yes…”

“oh no…” Paul practically whined, as he fell over onto his side, everything hurt. Everything ached.

“how – how many-“

The vampire weakly raised a hand and pointed to the bed, Paul looked up, squinting through the blinding rays of morning light. The bed. Well…

“oh noooo.” The shifter whined softly and Garrett only groaned back in response his face still firmly planted in the soft carpet.

“I hate you.”

“ngh”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Emmett isn’t as good a cook as Esme, but he could remember how to make simple things from his days as a human. Food was one of his favourite things after all, and the one thing he misses from before he became a vampire.

He could make things that mattered. A sandwich, grill a steak, make a simple stew.

Today he’s making eggs and toast for breakfast.

Emmett grinned as he shovelled the eggs out onto a plate standing behind the counter in the super convenient kitchenette in the suite.

When he woke up that morning, he felt absolutely terrible.

His head hurt, his body ached and he was so nauseous that he could barely think straight.

It was awesome.

It’s been years since he’s had a hangover and back then he thought that he’d be grateful for the day when he never had to go through another one of those ever again. But a hangover meant that he passed out, passing out meant that he got drunk, getting drunk meant that he was actually able to drink something other than blood for the first time in a very long time.

Again, awesome.

It didn’t last long of course, his vampire abilities made that feeling fade away quickly enough. That and the extra emergency rations of animal blood that they’d brought with them to Vegas that they thankfully managed to sneak in through customs helped a whole lot.

Still that morning was great, the night before was great. The memories from the night before were scattered and a bit vague at first but they became clearer as the morning went on. It was so much fun. For the first time in a long time he felt human.

That’s why he was making breakfast you see.

Everyone else was still passed out, scattered around the penthouse. Though the blood rations would work fine for Edward and Jasper, and Garrett could always find a human to feed on later; the shifters probably wouldn’t be able to move around much once they woke. Emmett decided to do something nice for them.

They’ve never gotten along, Emmett’s never liked any of them. But that’s mostly because of the fact that they were shifters and therefore posed a threat, distrusting them was easy since the natives didn’t trust them either.

But he really had the best time, so he figured he could play nice for just a little bit. Maybe even keep up the energy they’d had going the night before.

The coffee maker beeped to a finish and just then Emmett heard a groan of pain. He looked back and found Quil crawling out from the mess of blankets and pillows that lay on the floor near the bar. The vampire gave a snort. He woke up in that same pile about an hour ago, with Quil practically wrapped around him with his head on the vampire’s chest.

It was…

Weirdly nice.

It was different, waking up and actually feeling warm because of the warmth that radiated off of the shifter’s form. It was incredibly hard trying to force himself to get up. But the nausea left him with very little choice.

“Good morning sunshine!” Emmett called out and Quil hissed as he lifted a hand to cradle his head.

“Oh my god, would you please shut up.” Quil groaned and Emmett chuckled.

“It took you long enough to wake up. Are all shifters such lightweights?”

“Fuck you, you stupid-“ Quil paused and then looked up, staring at the vampire behind the counter in confusion before his head dropped and he groaned again.

“Oh god… it wasn’t a dream.”

Emmett scoffed, “I made breakfast.”

“You eat?”

“No, but you do.”

Quil looked up with a frown, “You made breakfast for me?”

“Yeah. That’s what you normally do when you spend the night with someone right? I’ve seen that in movies.”

Quil’s frown deepened only for his eyes to go wide looking around himself, suddenly realising that the shirt he wore reeked of vampire and he was wearing nothing else, “Oh fuck… we didn’t… did we?”

Emmett grinned, setting a dishcloth aside and walking around the counter. “Oh yeah.”

Quil’s eyes widened in horror as the vampire walked over and stopped to crouch right in front of him.

“You were an absolute animal by the way, no pun intended.” Emmett smirked at the look on Quil’s face, “It was wild and it was so hot, seriously I’ve never seen anyone bend around like that and you just kept going and going. They say vampires have stamina but I could barely keep up-“

Quil suddenly reached out to put a hand over his mouth to silence him, “Please tell me you’re joking.”

Emmett pulled the shifter’s hand away to reveal a wide grin and Quil glared hard.

“Fuck you.”

“Maybe later.” Emmett said pulling Quil’s arm around his shoulders as he stood up, the shifter tried to pull away.

“What’re-“

“I made breakfast remember.”

Quil huffed out a sigh, “Why?”

“I had fun.” Emmett shrugged, “I guess I’m just in a good mood.”

“Seriously?”

They stopped at the counter and Quil carefully sat down on one of the stools, groaning softly at every ache and twitch he felt in his body at the action. Emmett pulled away to walk back behind the counter.

“Seriously, it felt good, for once it felt normal.” Emmett admitted as he reached out for the jar filled with green water he’d set aside earlier, before turning back to the shifter, “I’m in a good mood.”

Quil watched him for a moment, cradling his head in one hand, his lips twisting a little before he let out a sigh, “I don’t think I can keep anything down right now.”

Emmett smiled setting the jar down in front of the shifter and twisted the top off, “That’s why we have this.”

“And this is?”

“Pickle juice. It’ll help.”

Quil looked at the jar sceptically before just reaching out and lifting the jar up to drink.

One, two, three, four.

He set the jar down. “Ugh.”

“Yup.”

“Where’d you get all this stuff.” Quil said taking another deep gulp. Emmett shrugged as he plated the eggs and toast.

“I called room service.”

“And room service couldn’t just bring you eggs, toast and coffee?”

“I felt like doing it myself.”

Quil shook his head before gesturing to the other pickle jars behind Emmett and the bowl of pickles beside them.

“Do I have to drink all of those?”

“No, I got them for everyone else.”

“Where is everyone else?”

“Still passed out.” Emmett started with a smirk as he set the plate of food down in front of Quil, “I figured that I should just let you all sleep in.”

“How are you up so early?”

“I was an early riser when I was human, even when I was hungover. Up by sunrise every morning.”

“So what, you were a farmer?” Quil asked finishing off the pickle water with a cringe as the acidic salty taste burned on his tongue. Emmett shook his head.

“I did day labour mostly, but I had more fun gambling in my free time.”

Quil paused, “I feel like I remember you at the blackjack tables last night.”

“That was fun. We should do that again.”

“Huh?” Quil said arching a brow at the vampire and Emmett went to lean on the counter.

“I had fun and you had fun too right? Why not do it again?”

Quil blinked at him, “Uhhh-“

“I mean besides the obvious.” Emmett said with a roll of his eyes, “Carlisle’s always talking about how he wants us to try and get along with you guys and after last night I don’t really see why we couldn’t get along.”

“You’re crazy.”

“Maybe. It’s not like I’m asking to break the treaty or anything but we can be cool right?”

Quil shook his head, “You’re crazy.”

“If you’re worried about Sam and the council, don’t be. I won’t tell if you don’t. Not even Carlisle.”

“Not even your wife?”

Emmett paused before giving a shrug, “You know what they say, what happens in Vegas…”

Quil just pulled the plate closer and started poking at the eggs, “I don’t want any drama, man.”

“Then there won’t be any.” Emmett reassured Quil didn’t say anything and Emmett wanted to sigh in frustration when he suddenly smirked.

“Hey, how much do you remember about last night?”

“I almost believed you when you said we hooked up.” Quil said with a deadpan tone and shaking his head. “I don’t know, it’s all kinda vague. My head still hurts.”

Emmett quickly slipped his phone out of his pocket, “Wanna see what happened last night?”

Quil frowned as the vampire came around to sit in the stool next to him and leaned in to show him his phone’s screen. When he sat down he ignored the way that Quil leaned into him a little more, probably soaking in the cold from the vampires skin. Emmett pretended not to notice and he most certainly didn’t have to hold in a sigh at the heat that burned into him from the shifters skin. Quil just stared at the device in confusion when his eyes suddenly went wide.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The bed felt blissfully cool the sheets felt soft against his skin and he just felt so comfortable it was insane. Which is why he immediately bolted upright in bed.

He hasn’t felt cool since he was still human. He slept with no sheets or blankets on most nights since he usually felt so hot that his sheets would end up soaked with how much he’d sweat.

Unfortunately sitting up so suddenly in bed immediately brought his attention to how much his head hurt, and how much his body ached and how his stomach was doing summersaults despite the fact that he was sitting still.

“Argh…” Embry moaned softly as he fell back onto the bed, shutting his eyes to cuddle back into the cold only for him to realise that the cold was weirdly hard and shaped weird too and moving-

The shifter pried his eyes open and looked up only to freeze at the figure he realised he was cuddling into.

It was a vampire. One of the Cullens.

The cold one just stared back at him not saying a single word. His eyes the darkest that Embry has ever seen them.

“Oh shit…” he breathed, he had no idea what to do or even what to say. For the moment Embry was so shocked he almost forgot to remember how much everything hurt right at that moment.

“Uh…”

The vampire, Jasper, spoke.

“You’re awake.”

“Uh… yeah?” his throat felt terrible.

Jasper’s head gave a tilt, “You’re warmer than you were last night.”

Embry then remembered that he was still totally cuddling into the vampire’s side and immediately pulled away. an action that he almost regretted since firstly, moving made him perfectly aware of the hangover he was going through and secondly, the vampire felt so cold it felt insanely good.

Embry hissed in pain, clutching his head as he braced his other hand on the bed.

“You should lie down.” Jasper said and Embry shook his head ever so slightly.

“No I-“

“It’ll be better if you don’t move too fast.” And then a cold hand was placed on his cheek. Embry looked up and saw the vampire staring at him which is when he remembered to wonder what in the fucking fuck was happening.

What happened the night before?

Where-

“Oh fuck.” Embry groaned when the memories started coming back to him.

They went to Vegas, ran into the Cullens and Paul made that stupid stupid drink.

Gods, he really needs to stop letting Paul talk him into doing stupid stupid things.

“You alright?”

Embry frowned.

OK so he got drunk but how did he end up in a bed with Jasper Cull-

Embry lifted his head to finally take in his surroundings.

The room as a mess. There were clothes strewn everywhere, some of the furniture int the suite was toppled over and the sheets on the bed looked like they got ripped up pretty bad.

Embry’s eyes went wide when he realised that he was totally naked. And Jasper was totally naked and they were sitting together in a bed.

The shifter looked up at the vampire and swallowed back against his painfully dry throat.

“We didn’t… did we…did we have sex?”

Jasper blinked, “No, no from what I can tell we both passed out before anything happened.”

Embry sighed only to pause when Jasper finished, “But we got close.”

“How close?”

Jasper gave a sheepish smile, “Well, we managed to get on a bed.”

Embry felt his cheeks warm, “I noticed.”

Jasper gave a snort Embry sighed.

“I… Look I don’t know what to say. So, I’m just gonna-”

“You really shouldn’t move.”

“I need to go to my room.”

“Stop.”

Embry froze.

It’s the vampire’s tone that got him. The commanding force in it that made the shifter stop right in his tracks, almost the same as the tone that Sam used when he was giving them a command.

He froze staring back at the vampire with wide eyes and Jasper cleared his throat, looking away for a brief moment before he spoke. “You’re not feeling well right. You should take it easy.”

Embry took in a deep breath, “I’m fine. I’m just… Hungover.”

“All the more reason to stay still. Here.” Jasper reached out to the bedside table and turned back to hand the shifter a glass of water. Embry took the offered glass, oh yeah. His throat still hurts.

He drank down the water greedily, almost sighing at the cool touch that soothed his aching throat before he stopped. The glass was taken away and Embry let out a heavy sigh.

His head is still killing him.

“Where are the others?”

Jasper looked up in a pause, “Most are in the main area. Emmett, Embry, Paul, Garrett and Jared.”

“What about Jake?”

“He and Edward haven’t gotten up yet.”

“They’re together?”

“Yes.”

“Like, sleeping?”

“Yeah.”

“But why-“ Embry frowned and then his eyes went wide as he looked around himself one more time. “Oh shit… Did-do you know if they-”

“Yes.”

The flash of a memory came back to him just then. There were Jacob and Edward, the two were practically clinging to each other. He’s never seen Jake look so happy before.

“This is bad…” Embry lifted his hands to cover his face Jasper let out a soft chuckle and let his arm slip around the shifter’s shoulders to draw him in closer.

“It could’ve been worse.”

“How?”

“They could’ve killed each other.”

Embry sighed, that cold was back and it felt so good he forgot to feel weirded out by the vampire suddenly touching him let alone pulling him close. But he remembered quickly enough and started pulling out of Jasper’s grasp.

“I should go.”

Jasper’s hold tightened for a split second before he let go. Embry didn’t miss the movement, he just didn’t comment on it. He paid no attention to the way that Jasper’s lips pursed together in a tight line either. In the ever-expanding sea of weirdness he’s woken up to, Embry decided that some things could be ignored.

“How long have you been up?” The shifter asked as he looked around the room to try and locate his clothing. He grabbed a handful of the sheets from the bed and dragged them around his waist. Suddenly very conscious of the vampire’s stare.

“A few hours?”

“A few hours?” Embry paused and then shook his head, “You didn’t have to babysit me.”

“I wanted to make sure you’d be alright.”

“Yeah well, besides a serious hangover, I feel O.K. What about you? Getting drunk for Vampires isn’t really normal either right. Are you O.K?”

He’s making small talk. Mostly because the silence between him and the vampire felt too weird but also because why not, right? The vampire decided to check on him and make sure he was OK. Why not return the favour.

“I’m fine.”

“Yeah? You have some kind of vampire hangover remedy or something?” Embry sighed when he finally found his underwear and then his pants. His shirt is missing though-

“Blood.”

“What?” Embry asked looking up at the vampire, startled by that one word. Jasper’s head gave a tilt.

“Blood usually cures most problems that vampires experience, for whatever reason.”

“Oh, so… do you need to go hunt or-“

“No. I have what I need.”

The shifter frowned, “What do you mean?”

Jasper just stared back at him for a moment, until the vampire suddenly moved. Embry’s eyes went wide when his back suddenly hit the wall hard and he gasped when he found himself in the vampire’s clutches. Jasper’s face was less than an inch away from his own, those dark eyes somehow even darker now as he stared at the teen. Embry swallowed hard when he realised that his hands were pinned against the wall. That sudden movement really wasn’t helping his hangover at all. His head throbbed and his stomach turned. Somehow he just barely managed to stop from gagging out loud. And then the vampire was pressed against him, ice cold skin almost searing to the touch and he became very aware of their lack of clothing.

“Jasper, what’re you-“

The vampire leaned in towards his neck, Embry felt Jasper’s thumb stroke the inside of Embry’s right palm, right over the cut that Paul had made the day before for the drink. It all clicked in the shifter’s head… sort of.

Jasper dragged his nose along the shifter’s throat pausing beside his ear. Embry fought hard to keep his breathing steady.

“It’s better, up close. Not as bad.”

Embry swallowed hard, “What?”

Jasper pulled back looked into the shifter’s eyes and just as quickly released him. taking a step back, Jasper frowned. His eyebrows pulling together in a tight line before he turned away.

“I’ll let you get dressed.”

Embry stayed right where he was with his back pressed against the wall. He watched as Jasper got his things and left the room. The door shut with a clack and he finally let himself collapse onto his knees.

“What the hell?

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

It was almost eleven o’clock when they all found themselves in the main area of the suite. Things were a little more awkward than they were the night before.

Garrett and Paul were sitting on what was left of the couch that they totally broke the night before. The vampire was rolling his eyes hard while Paul grumbled and complained and threatened to castrate the parasite if he even thought about bringing up what happened the night before as he chomped on his eggs and toast.

Jared was in the corner, grovelling over the phone. Apologising profusely to Kim who’d gotten a barrage of drunk texts from him the night before, many of which she was none too pleased with and demanded an explanation for.

Embry was sitting at the counter, trying and failing to ignore the vampire sitting right beside him as he ate his breakfast. Jasper kept staring. Jasper kept touching him. Something that they’d all noticed. Emmett had walked up to his brother and asked what was wrong only to get a growl and a glare for a response so Emmett slowly backed away.

As for Emmett and Quil they seemed to be doing great. The shifter sat with the vampire. Snickering and whispering as they leaned over Emmett’s cell phone, glancing over at the others every now and then.

And then, just then there was a loud thump somewhere down the hall leading to the bedroom. There was a thump and a drag and then there was the sound of glass breaking. The vampires and shifters all paused as they looked up wondering what on earth was going on when-

“AHHHHHH!”

Emmett shook his head and then Quil sighed, “So, Edward and Jacob are awake.”

“Yeah.”

Suddenly there was arguing and more things breaking and thumping. There was a loud slam and they watched as a door slid across the tiled floor of the suite and stopped right in the middle of the living area before another crash.

“Should we-“

Emmett paused when he heard another crash, “They’ll be fine.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

_“Dude, dude seriously. Hold still-“_

_“It’s too close, lemme hold it.”_

_The image zoomed out._

_They were in a lobby somewhere, fake flowers all over the wall in the background. The camera pulled out to show Quil, grinning up at the phone with a wide grin and flushed skin, wearing the shirt that Emmett was wearing that afternoon. And Emmett? He was shirtless carrying Quil on his back while the shifter held the phone so they were both visible on the screen. There was some weird organ music playing in the background, though you could barely hear it over the noise._

_“We-we’re here at, at Cupid’s Bow chapel and we-“ Quil burped and suddenly giggled while Emmett howled with laughter, “My best bro just got married!”_

_Emmett hollered and you could hear a couple more voices whooping in the background just as the camera shifted to show Edward and Jacob practically hanging off of each other. Grinning from ear to ear, Jacob turned his head wrapped his arms around Edward’s neck and kissed him hard on the lips. With two gold wedding bands flashing brightly in the pink neon lights._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Next chapter is the real aftermath
> 
> Please review

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Please review


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